I’m Not Brave

 

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This year I found myself squarely in the middle of my fifties.  I attach the “mid-fifties” to my name and it sounds strange.  I am pretty sure on the inside i will always remain mid thirties or mid-forties, but mid-fifties? That sounds awfully close to what I would have considered old a couple of decades ago.

But…here I am and I guess there is no changing that.  What CAN change though is my perception of what mid-fifties can be.  Mid-fifties can be an awakening, a re-set and carpe diem all at the same time.  I am trying to make it all of these things despite the fact  that my half century plus is showing up as a saggy neckline, a pudgy middle, and a sometimes foggy brain.  Lucky for me, it is also wisdom and perspective and a confidence that I never had as a younger person. Most days those benefits outweigh the frustrations.

Throughout my life I would never have been considered the brave one.  I have always kept it safe, to a fault really.  Being the only girl and the firstborn to parents who were pretty strict, I learned at an early age that you can get hurt if you push past your boundaries.  Whereas this is true, and truly who knows what they may have saved me from, I kind of wish I hadn’t taken that lesson to heart so much.  I have lived a cautious adult life.  It has been a good, very comfortable life, but in looking back I wonder if it wasn’t a bit too comfortable.  Getting out of that comfort zone has always frightened me.  But I sit here, in the middle of my fifties, and wonder what did I miss?  What adventures and game changers could have been had in that first half of that first century if I had been willing to take a few more risks?

So, as you see, I’m not brave.  I never have been. But maybe in this next half century I can learn to be.  I can push myself to do the things I never thought I was smart enough, talented enough, skilled enough or pretty enough to do.  Life can be filled with brave moments, some that manifest themselves in small private triumphs, and others that are worthy of sharing with your whole world.  Being brave can be as large as facing a serious health issue or as small as deciding those cute boots are worth the purchase so stop being so indecisive! It can be speaking your truths at a social gathering or gathering the courage to move forward with a writing project that you’ve been dreaming about for years. This blog is about facing fear, moving forward, checking those items off the bucket list and figuring out the most fulfilling path into the second half of a life journey.  Let’s walk it together and see what we can find along the way!

One thought on “I’m Not Brave

  1. “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” — Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh.
    And I’m so proud of you!

    Liked by 1 person

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